Figured I'd do another post, since it's been a while. I don't think I have a whole lot to report, besides the fact that I am slowly drying up like a sponge, but figured I'd get a good ramble in because, hey, why not?

-Lets see, starting with music, loving the new xx album, the new cat power is pretty cool too I guess, but mostly not quite my style. I've been filling in the gaps in albums I owned most of the songs too, with Ra Ra Riot and the National, listening to songs I haven't really heard by them, going to do Fleet Foxes next.

-I had a nice talk with H on thursday, and one thing she mentioned was how she's noticing all the "second to lasts". Like how Seniors cry about how everything is their last, but how lots of stuff that's going on for us will only happen once more in our lives, or at least in high school. And it made me remember that next school year is 2014, and we are graduating and leaving and growing and scattering and it's really really scary. I do feel like I've gotten better at dealing with meeting new people and talking to people I don't know and being a bit less self-conscious about interacting with others, but the world is just so big and scary and the future is looming over my head like a huge dark cloud. I feel like I should know what I want from my life, and that people expect me to at least have an idea, but how can I? I'm only 16. I don't really know anything yet.

-School is going pretty ok, I have work, but it's really nothing I can't manage with proper time management (fun, right?) and so far I'm doing better than I was last year in just sitting down and doing my work. So far I haven't had more than 2 hours a night, but we'll see how things go for the rest of this year. As for people, I'm really liking the new girls in our grades, looking forward to getting to know them better (hopefully). I also like being around my friends more, though I honestly wish I could spend more time with some of you (yes, you). I'm a little worried about a couple of people, and don't really know how to proceed, but I'm sure I can work something out, although I'm actually really worried for W.

-I've dealt with issues like A's and my situation before. Situations where I'm unnecessarily upset and they're really sad, and I have anger, bitterness, and sadness towards them, and they have tons of bs and crap going on. What I've learned is sometimes when someone's got a lot of negative stuff going on, and you know you can never even begin to help, the best thing to do is just take a step back, because that person's negativity is going to mess with you, and you aren't helping them by holding resentment. Your negativity feeds off of theirs and you're both miserable. There can be tension, anger, hurt, and that can be really dangerous, and lead to conflict. If you honestly know that there's very little you can do to help, and the person is not receptive to you, it's probably best to take a break. They need time on their own to work things out, and you need time to be away from this situation. Neither of you benefits from a toxic relationship. If they really need you, they will come to you. I've realized this, and it's why I'm going to stay out of all of this, because none of it is my place, even though it feels like it should be, as her friend. But as her friend, I honestly need to take a break. If there's any hope left in us staying friends, it dies if I stay angry.