Down in the Dumps

I’ve been feeling kinda PMSy lately. Which is strange because I just had mine and march is my drop month. Anyway, I’ve just been kinda sighy, whiney, and self-pitying. Now don’t get me wrong, my life is great. I have the best friends, a great family, and my grades are pretty cooh. But somehow, even surrounded by amazing people, I’ve been feeling lonely. Maybe it’s the couples. It’s probably the couples. I’m really happy for them, really, I am. It’s just that me being the sorta clingy dependent jealous and slightly selfish person I am, I just feel left out and “forever alone” around them. I know they haven’t left or anything, but sometimes I feel like I’ve been left behind, and sometimes I don’t feel as close to those in relationships as I may have once. Maybe it’s a lack of girl time, maybe it’s just me being bitter, but it still kinda hurts. And then the whole thing decides to get a big stick and poke at that part of my subconscious that worries about my friends abandoning me and about me never getting a boyfriend and why boys don’t seem to like me, even though I know that none of this is true. And maybe as a result of all this, I’ve been feeling a bit detached from the main group, which is RIDICULOUS because I’ve been spending plenty of time with A and talking to lots of others. Maybe it’s just that I haven’t really spent lots of time with anyone other than A. With the play, and no one besides G and L sharing my frees, besides class time, I haven’t spent much time around anyone else. Yeah...that’s probably it.
I guess this blog is sort of a nice way to sort out my feelings and whatever.