because whenever the next door neighbors throw a party, some bros pee in the back stairwell instead of walking literally 1 foot out the door to pee in the goddamn grass or something.
I’m depressed still, and more anxious than I’ve ever been before, they say the meds should kick in around the first week of november and to watch out in case I stop sleeping because that means mania and that means bipolar but it’s ok i can just stop taking the pills that I want to help me and go back to normal
I’m sleeping at night and in the daytime because when I get too anxious or bored the only thing I feel like I can do is go to sleep
I feel like she doesn’t want to hang out with me right now and that makes me sad I guess that we can’t just spend time alone together
I need to get a hobby or something, damn.
I want to apply for this fellowship but I’m too scared to ask for a letter of recommendation or write the application or send it in
I guess I am a perfectionist because I avoid new things out of fear of not being good enough and I don’t try out of fear of failing
I love myself too sometimes and I’m really really trying but it’s really hard and I feel so isolated and bored and fearful so much of the time
I wish I had a more positive way to end this post. I'm working on it.
